Girls, dads get on the right path

'Indian Pathfinders' say their time together is special'

By KATHLEEN D. BAILEY Special to the Sunday News

LONDONDERRY - When Jim Belanger and his daughter, Adrianna, now 8, attended their first camp-out with the Indian Pathfinders program, they didn't know a single person when they arrived, Belanger said. By the end of the weekend, Adrianna had "75 friends."

 On the way home she told him, "I don't want this weekend to end." So they went out to dinner and then to a Funspot-type place.

Belanger, of Londonderry, is the president of the Pathfinders, a group promoting activities for fathers and daughters. He and two other Pathfinder dads, Jim Pynenberg of Merrimack and Jeff Stone of Londonderry, agree that the program gives even involved fathers a dad-and-daughter time that can't be replicated anywhere else.

 The program is an offshoot of the national YMCA's Indian Princesses program. About 16 years ago Belanger's , local "Y" opted out, and the members decided to keep it going under the "Pathfinder" name. The Pathfinders are divided into the Nation, a larger group, and smaller local Tribes.

Tribes meet once a month, usually in homes, for crafts, games and snacks, or the members will do a physical activity such as sledding or roller-skating, Belanger said. The Nation, or larger group, also meets monthly, and sponsors events such as camp-outs and overnights at the Museum of Science.

The program has a Scout -style structure, with levels of achievement. The levels are also designed around Native American culture, Belanger said, and that's part of the fun. There are "mandatory" activities for each level, such as building a miniature tepee or learning the names of 10 tribes, and "recommended" activities such as a one-mile hike or carving an Indian figure out of soap. But they do the projects together, Belanger said, and that extends Pathfinders far beyond two meetings a month.

Adrianna isn't doing Pathfinders because she's bored, her father emphasized. She participates in Brownies, an after-school Spanish class,  Destination Imagination, karate and soccer. But he's mostly a spectator at those events, he said; Pathfinders gives them something they can do together. "It gives us a focus," he said.

"I like spending time with my dad, and I like the events we do at Pathfinders," Adrianna said. "We get to meet other people, and I get to spend time with my dad."

"It puts a structure in place," Pynenberg said of the program. "If it wasn't for the activities, I might be home raking leaves."

 Pynenberg is a cheerleader for Sydney, "just turned 6," at her soccer, gymnastics, dance and swimming events. "But this is one-on-one time," he said of Pathfinders.

Stone, father of two girls, 5 and 7, said the group is focused on the father-daughter relationship, and it gives him insights he might not get otherwise, he said.

"Last summer," he said, "the tribe went out to breakfast and then fishing. I was enjoying watching the girls, seeing their reactions. My younger daughter caught a fish, and when I was pulling the hook out she said, 'Daddy, don't hurt the fish!' It was a great insight into her character."

And when Pynenberg and Sydney came home from a camp-out, Sydney did a "brain dump" on her mother. "She was giving her a blow-by-blow, and my wife looked at us and said, 'I want to go!'" he recalled.

Fortunately, many activities, such as Fisher Cats and Monarchs games, are open to moms and even brothers, he said. While they can join at other levels, most dads like to get in when their daughters are small, Belanger added. "The crucial time for fathers and daughters is when the girl is 10 to 14, when they're developing their mindset," he said. "If men show their daughters they care for them, it can set them on a different path for life."

The current group has about 75 to 80 girls, Belanger said. About 8 to 10 of the dads have two daughters in the group, like Stone. Some have sons at home, and while a few are non-custodial parents, most come from traditional two-parent homes, he said.

Belanger and Adrianna say they will stay in Pathfinders for as long as they can and will promote the Pathfinder experience to others. For Belanger, the relationship with his daughter is crucial. "I'm 38 now, and when I was 33, I had a major heart attack," he said "My daughter was 2 at the time. It gave me a new lease on life - I appreciate her more than I did before."

The Pathfinders will host a father/daughter dance with a Hawaiian luau theme Friday, Sept. 11, from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. in the Matthew Thornton School, 275 Mammoth Road, Londonderry. Tickets in advance are $5 per father/ daughter pair; at the door, $7 per pair.

For more details or to pre-order tickets, contact Belanger at jimbelanger@comcast.net or 434-3189, or visit www.indianpathfinders.com.