Indian Pathfinders Focuses on Fathers and Daughters

Original Article: Kathleen D. Bailey - Londonderry Times 12/29/2011 Edition

Every meeting of the Indian Pathfinders be­gins with a pledge, a recited good deed and a dollar donation. "I did my homework in school," So­fia Tringali, a South School student, said at a recent meeting in her home. "I had karate and gymnas­tics that same night, so my teacher asked me to do it in school."

"I helped my dad put up the Christmas decorations," her sister Gabrielle said, while their friend Taryn Kocak said, "I helped the teacher get pens and mark­ers. I had to make two trips."

Taryn's father, Dan, said he had volunteered to be an adviser to the school science club.

"That's a projected good deed," host John Tringali said with a smile.

Once a month, fathers and daughters gather for a tribe meeting of the Pathfinders. While struc­tured along the lines of a Scout troop, with ranks and merit awards, the group has a different focus: getting dads and daughters together to enjoy activities.

As he helped settle the girls around Tringali's din­ing-room table, Jeff Avit­abile said the program is a spin-off of a national YMCA program, "Indian Princesses." While the Princesses are a national group, the Pathfinders are mostly from Southern New Hampshire, he said. It has smaller units known as "tribes" that are part of a larger unit, the Nation. They have meetings on both levels, and it's all facilitated by the dads.

Avitabile, the contact person for the Dakota Tribe, is a Pathfinder veteran. His older daughter, Re­becca, was in the Sho­shone tribe with him and participated through most of high school. It's differ­ent from Brownies and Girl Scouts, he said - "Those are more mother-daughter things." Most fathers end up having a passive in­volvement in their daugh­ters' activities, watching their school plays or dance recitals.

The girls earn various recognitions, similar to badges, as they acquire skills, Avitabile said. Gab­rielle Tringali showed off hers, which were fastened to a blue lanyard around a larger medal, "Always A Pathfinder."

"My son is jealous," Avitabile said. "He's 5, and he's too young for Cub Scouts or anything like that."

The activities are a mix of the sedate and the ac­tive, Avitabile said. Later this month, the girls and fathers will go snow tub­ing at McIntyre Ski Area. They camp at least three times a year, and a meet­ing at Tringali's house is likely to end with a touch football game in the back yard. There are father-daughter dances, rock climbing and a float in the annual Londonderry Old Home Day Parade.

The program gives the girls "a lot of confidence," Avitabile said. And for the fathers, it gives that es­sential one-on-one. "I have four children," he said, "so this is my time to spend with Faith alone."

The organizational struc­ture is also fun, bringing the men back to their own childhoods. They have a "longhouse" meeting once a month with the chiefs of all the tribes, Avitabile said. The War Chief is in charge of recruitment, the Wampum Bearer handles the finances, the Sand Painter produces a news­letter and acts as record­ing secretary, and the Medicine Man keeps track of awards, he said.

"And the Tepee Master stores all our stuff in his garage," he added.

The craft of choice on a recent Saturday was pre-cut birdhouses. "You can assemble them here and finish them at home," Tringali said.

Avitabile and his dau­ghter Faith put the pieces in order. Then he read the instructions out loud, and Faith handed him pieces. But the lure of the screw­driver was too strong for these girls, and they end­ed up doing as much work as their fathers.

Dan Kocak has been a Pathfinder dad for about a year. "It appealed to me because I could spend more time with my daugh­ter - sometimes it's diffi­cult to find things to do," he said as he held the birdhouse and Taryn tightened a screw. They've gone on campouts, a whale watch and a canoe trip, he said. Though a lot of the activities are new to the girls, the group also opens up the dads' worlds - "I had never been canoe­ing," Kocak said. "It gets her to do more things, gets me to do more things."

As the winter afternoon waned, the fathers and girls chatted comfortably over their birdhouses. The dads imparted spoken wisdom, including one who remind­ed his daughter, "Lefty­loosey, righty-tighty." And they gave life lessons that were not as evident.

"This screwdriver hates me," Gabrielle Tringali com­plained at one point.

"No it doesn't," her father said. "You just need patience."

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